16

There's not too much new going on. Still no word from Anne. I just kind of figure at this point that no news is bad news.

I emailed Michelle on Friday, and I just told her not to worry. She said that Anne hasn't been returning her calls. Michelle felt pretty badly about that. But I told her I was coming out to meet everyone this summer, and she said that she and a few of her relatives would love to come out and meet me.

Even though I'm a little saddened by Anne's response, I'm not surprised. I can't expect her to come running to me with open arms. She was a pregnant teenager in a very religious family back in the early 1980's. I suspect that my very existence brings up a lot of painful memories for her. Hank wanting to know me and his family being so open to me was a miracle; I can't expect lightning to strike twice. Although I know I have two half siblings on Anne's side, who I would love to get to know, they are still in high school. I'm sure Anne is conflicted, sad, and maybe even angry. I can't say that I blame her.

Over the weekend, I went to celebrate St. Patrick's Day with John's family, as it was also his sister's 30th birthday. We celebrated a LOT, but it was nice to spend time at home with family. Since Bernie and Maddie moved so far away, it's been nice to have John's family around. It makes me feel more normal.

Hank and I texted a lot on Saturday. Most of it was just silliness, but I did mention the whole Anne thing. He made sure I called him the next day.

My phone calls and texts with Hank are always a lot of fun. He pretends to be a dad, since we have 30+ years to make up. I pretend to be a bratty daughter, because that's what I was for Maddie and Bernie. We laugh and giggle about it, and I think we are developing a good bond. It's not a father-daughter bond, rather we are really good friends. He's not my dad. Bernie is my dad. But Hank is a friend, and I'm enjoying getting to know him.

Hank wanted to talk about Anne. I have to start this by saying that I loved listening to him talk about her. For over 20 years, Hank and Anne have been these mythical people. To hear Hank tell me that Anne was beautiful and kind and a truly wonderful person, that changed my perspective of them. They stayed together for two years after I was born. It changed my ideas about what and who they were, and it gave me a different perspective on them.

His whole purpose for the call was to check on me. He was worried that I was feeling a lot of rejection. It was really kind and really sweet of him, and he tried to reassure me that Anne would probably come around. We talked for a long while about Anne and the whole crazy adoption. When we hung up almost an hour later, I felt a lot better about the Anne situation, and I hope Hank felt better about me. We also agreed that we are just good friends, and that we aren't trying to take over a spot in each other's family.

B texted me yesterday just to chat and catch up. We haven't talked in a while. I know she is busy in her final year of college (and she is totally living out her dreams), but it is nice to hear from her. She is sweet and I really enjoy talking to her. I was trying to tell her that being an adult isn't as scary as it seems, as she is nervous about what comes after graduation. It was fun being a big sister!