9.

Not too many days after that phone call, my birth certificate arrived. Hank's name was on there, as was Anne's. Turns out, I had been searching the wrong Anne the whole time. They hadn't named me; I had been born as "Baby Girl Z", as Anne's last name at the time began with a Z.

With that new information, I did what I always do when I get new information: off to research on the internet. I was able to find Anne's father's obituary, and from the names listed there, I was able to find Anne's brother Chris on facebook.

Anne's brother Chris was friends with Bernie's sister and her three daughters, my aunt and cousins.

I couldn't understand anything that was going on. Bernie and Maddie and I weren't speaking. Somehow, my aunt and cousins KNOW my biological uncle.

Lynn practically fell out of her chair when I told her everything. You know it's bad when you go to your therapist and they are shocked by everything that's going on. With Lynn, I was usually able to talk everything through and keep it together, but when her jaw hit the floor, I became a little less sure of myself.

I was scared. I couldn't understand Bernie and Maddie's reaction to my letter. And I couldn't understand how my father's sister knows my biological family. I felt alone and scared and I didn't know who to talk to.

At this point, I only had Lynn and John. I had stopped talking to most of my other friends as well as my in-laws. They just couldn't understand. There was so much happening and I didn't want to go through it all over and over and over again with them and then not feel like I was being heard or supported. Life was miserable.

After a week or so, Bernie and Maddie and I talked again. They never reached out; I had to call them. They had cooled down, and had started going through the adoption paperwork. Honestly, our old home had flooded so many times, I was shocked they still had it. They had pictures of me at the hospital, and they would bring them to Thanksgiving. I didn't have the strength to ask them any more questions at that time; it just felt good to talk to my mom and dad again.

Since I moved away in 2011, my parents and I have talked on the phone almost every single day. John makes fun of me for talking to them so much, but he isn't a big phone conversationalist. Being an only child, and moving when I was little, my mom and dad are my people. They were my first friends, my support, my family. Not talking to them, and even worse, not trusting them was killing me.

Thanksgiving was approaching quickly. I was nervous to see them. Then my dad told me my aunt and cousins - the ones friends with my uncle Chris - would be at Thanksgiving also. Knowing this just added to my anxiety.

We drove to North Carolina to spend time with family for the holiday. My dad has two sisters, and his younger sister was hosting. She and I were fairly close when I was growing up, and I was happy to see her new home and be helping her in the kitchen. Things felt very normal, for the first time in a while. It felt good to be with my husband and my family. It was the first holiday I had shared with my parents in years. We cooked, we ate, we laughed.

I was careful about how much I drank. I was scared that I would get some liquid courage in my and start asking about how my family knew Chris and if they knew Anne. I felt like there was an elephant in the room, but I was able to still enjoy the time with my family. I never asked my cousins about Chris.

The last day of the trip, we drove to my mom's sister's home to have lunch and see her new place. Over the summer, I had told my mom's sister Brandy about the DNA and the cousin, before I had any real answers. She had thought it was an awesome idea, and had even encouraged me to not say anything to my mom until I had any real answers. She understood what and why I was doing this, and she supported me.

While we were at lunch, mom and Brandy had a very long, very quiet conversation in another room. I knew mom was telling Brandy all about the letter and what was going on. I was nervous that Brandy would tell my mom that I had gone to her first, which I knew would start a battle with Maddie.  When we all sat down to eat, everything was normal again. We enjoyed a wonderful lunch and then my mom and dad had to get in the car to start heading home. We shared an awkward goodbye, and they left. We never discussed the letter, the adoption, the paperwork, the pictures - nothing.

I confronted Brandy after they left. John said his goodbyes and then got in the car to wait for me so I could have a private second with her and my cousin David. I told her I knew she and Maddie were talking about me in their private conversation. She said she didn't give up that I had talked to her first, but she couldn't understand why Maddie was so mad at me. I gave her the short version of events and that I couldn't understand it either, but I had a lot of questions.

This is what I remember being said:
Me: "I just have a lot of questions, and while I'm finding some answers, I still have more. I have two half-sisters that look so much like me, and I love that. But apparently my aunt and cousins are friends with my biological family on Facebook."
Brandy: "They're still friends?"