23.

It’s been about 6 months. Life has gone on, and not too much has changed.

My half-sisters are truly incredible and amazing human beings. B came out for siblings weekend with  John’s siblings. We had a blast and they all got on really well. She told me that she considers me a sister over dinner one night, which made me dissolve into tears. After so many years of wondering what this is like, I have it and it is wonderful. It was B’s birthday while she was here, and I loved celebrating her and making her feel special. She is so sweet and so kind and I’m so lucky to have her and Rebecca.

I went to visit Rebecca in her city about a month ago. Before the trip, I was anxious, as she and I weren’t very close and I know she had reservations about all of this. In all honesty, it was one of the best trips I ever made. She and I are so similar, it’s scary! B and I look very similar, but Rebecca and I like the same food and activities, we talk the same way, and we even have similar jobs. I adore her and had so much fun with her.

I do have another trip planned to see Hank, Maura, B, and Rebecca, but more on that later.

What prompted me to write this is Anne. We still have not talked. I’m ok with this - actually a lot better than I was this time last year. I no longer pine to know her and her family. I’m so happy with Hank and his family, and I respect her decisions. Today, I noticed she checked out my profile again on a social networking site. Seeing that made my heart sink. I don’t understand why it hurts that she looks but won’t reach out. I understand why she does it, and I still cannot imagine what she is going through. In this particular site, I am unable to message her, but I have sent her messages on another social network platform; she had not yet seen those messages.

This journey has been long, crazy, painful, and exhilarating. I am happy - truly happy - with Bernie and Maddie, Hank and Maura, my half sisters, my in-laws, and all the rest of my crazy family. I do hope that one day Anne and I can have a conversation, but I know that may never happen. I wish her the best and I hope that she is happy and healthy, and that her family is as well. I will just have to wait and see what the future holds.